Hey there. Its has been a few tedious days for me. I have learned a few things here in my days of trying to figure out things and help run a mission.
1 .I never want an office job.
2. I love people more than computers.
Haha, well, I’ve learned a little bit more than that. Christmas is approaching, the end of the year is approaching, we just finished a mission tour and the waves of work here in the office, the time I am here, is a lot and it stresses me out. I often feel my work is useless, and I question why I am here, why I got this position, why can’t I just be outside preaching the word more than I do. I have battled much inside of me, and I have tried more to pray harder and read more to understand why and how I can overcome what is becoming a challenge to me. I hope this doesn’t appear to those who read that I don’t like my time here. It has its ups and downs, but the down has come this week.
In turn I have tried more to be a missionary in every moment. Even to my fellow companions. To listen to those who come to the office with problems, I am trying more to listen with a compassionate heart. Or to talk to those I am surrounded about daily about the gospel. I feel like God placed me here in this strange position in the mission to really help me to realize what outside, non-mission life will be like in the future. I will not be preaching the gospel 24/7 at home, I will be place in uncomfortable situations a lot at home, I will have to deal with money, business stuff… God just is kinda shoving me out of the little cove of safety we like to call missions for a minute to show me what it’ll be like. And I’m learning. I’m learning to put God first in the world. And that is why I think I am here.
I have also really enjoyed reading 1 Nephi 3.7 in this time, and pondering over the talk “Bearing up their burdens with ease” by Elder Bednar. In that talk he compares a small story to our own personal burdens we have every day. Whether that be sin, or business, family problems, we all have something on us. A man gets his truck stuck in the snow in some mountains while he goes out to chop wood. He does everything he can think to get the truck out of the snow, but to no avail. He finally gives up and cuts the wood anyway. He loads up his truck with this wood and thinks probably, “what next?”. He starts the truck and try to back up, a little hard at first, but finally escapes the snow and gets back on the road, towards home. So, it was the burden that got him out of the snow. It was the burden that gave him the traction. In our lives our burdens get us back on the path. It is our constant burdens of sin, family, business, school, or in my case, weird office/financial things that constantly remind me of Our Savior and what he did for us so that we could feel happy, even under burden (Mosiah 24.15). Burdens are essential to life, and right now I find myself grateful for the burden of being placed with tedious tasks to shine forth with faith, with ever growing fervent prayer, searching scripture study, going to church with a repentant heart.
I realize todays letter is a long one, but it feels good to express my feelings and what I’ve learned this week.. I am looking forward to recognizing my burdens, thanking God for the challenge, and just try to keep moving forward. Love you all.
Ps. don’t worry, here we also go out and teach people. We are teaching a fantastic man named Francisco. He has huge desires to be baptized, to help his ancestors. I will talk a little more about him next week. LOVE YOU!
ran into an old returned missionary, elder cano